"We're trying to smoke here",

is what my mom said when she handed the phone to me. Of course Alyssa heard. And she wanted in.

This is sounding like the begining of a bad movie. And downstairs I hear my Dad is still watching 'The Science of Sleep'.

The reason I wanted to type was because I made my third attempt to make contact and this time I think it went through. It's too early to have such high hopes though. I should know that by now.

I don't want to be the girl I used to be. I don't want to be mean. Is this mean? Should I feel guilty? I try to convince myself that I shouldn't. But I still do. Like I said to Joe, I don't want it to be another ten years until we talk to each other.

God. Now that I think about it, I'm waiting to hear from three guys and the only person who has responded to me is the first girl I ever had a crush on.