Something something

Back to some real stuff:
I have a mix that I made my friend with album art but am unable to post it at the moment.

However, I thought I'd make note of all the albums that are good albums. By which I mean, an album that I can listen to the whole way through without wanting to skip any of the songs.

Radiohead - In Rainbows
Menomena - Friend and Foe
Alexi Murdoch - Time Without Consequence


I think this is a list I will keep up with as time goes by. I'm really going to push myself to listen to more new music because I usually just get stuck in a rut with one or two bands ( as much as I love them ).

Cancel the thing that I said I'd do. I don't feel comfortable talkin' to you.

I can't believe he had the balls to do that. Ass.

I can't wait to say it to his face.

If it's so easy for someone you care about to hurt you so deeply what's the use in getting close to anyone? I know I don't really believe that but why do they all have to be assholes in the end? At least that's the story when it comes to me.

I don't need this. I'm better than this. This kid can go follow his dick wherever he wants. I've got bigger things to worry myself with.

I need some instant gratification. But I'm so rusty I don't know if I can actually . . . follow through. I'm not looking for complications.They're asking for way more than I can give. I want the smallest of favors.

. . . and some of the day

The concert kicked ass.

I feel like that's something I should get out of the way before I. . . Oh wait, I couldn't forget something that AMAZING!

Speechless, really. That band has my heart and soul, I tell ya! They played everything I could ask for except Trani, and I understand.

Leaving for California on Sunday. I can't believe it. I honestly don't know what to expect, and I kind of like that.

I have my portfolio done. I'm still working on the essay. And I've got my foot in the door as far as the whole recommendation this is concerned. Transcripts have been sent out (with much effort). I think I'm ready to rock it!

Other things? I've been flattered a few times. It's nice. But they are nothing I'm putting any effort into. Jesus is a dead end. But that's okay. It actually works out pretty well that way because now I'm not distracted by it.

Music? Yeah, covered that with Kings, didn't I?

But this is news worthy!

New Favorite Song: Manhattan - Kings of Leon


Turns out I kinda do like their new album. It's nothing like what they used to be, but I've come to accept that people, and even bands, change.

It's cool.

Trouble

I'm getting in to all kinds of trouble.

Shakin' Your Apple Right In My Face

Again, Megan is getting herself into trouble.

I will be going to California next month. The purpose of the trip is to visit CCA. But it's also become a vacation. It's become a vacation where I will be spending most of my time with Drew.

Trouble.

I can't help the fact that this kid has my heart. There is nothing I can do about it. But it's easier to focus on what I need to get done when I know that he's not here. That makes sense. It makes sense that it's better to put hope on him than any other guy around. Because I know I can't act on it, so there's only so much time I can spend thinking about it.

However, I've already had a dream about going to see Drew. And it wasn't rated G. Ever part of me wants him. I dare not be cheesy about it. But honestly, I'm fucked.

In other news, I will hopefully be getting together with Judy some time soon. I'm well over due for a dose of that women's inspiration. I'm pumped. I also think I need to send another e-mail to Kevin. But I'm guessing I'll see him on Sunday at Harvest Fest. !!! I can't believe it's that time of year again.

( A year ago I payed five dollars for a kiss. )

I sent out my slides. So nervous. If anything should happen to them I'm fucked. I have no copies of these guys. And I hope the scans come out good enough for my portfolio. I'll want to touch them up on Photoshop, but honestly I have no idea what I'm doing.

I need to send out a request for a transcript from Hallmark and one from BUHS as well. !!! So much to do!

My first interview is in Boston the morning after the Kings of Leon concert ( which I'm oh so excited about ). Which reminds me, I need to call my cousin about staying at her apartment with Sally.

I need to get crafty, too. I started my polaroids but I'm so nervous to continue. !!! I can do this, I know I can. I bought some painting crayons which I've been looking forward to fooling around with ( that's what she said ).

Music?
Kings of Leon ( all the time )
The new album: I can't pin down my feelings about it. I'll listen to a song and love it. Then I'll listen to another and be so disappointed. Manhattan, I Want You, and Cold Desert have my heart. And of course Sex On Fire has a special place in my heart as well, mostly because it's just so ridiculous. Other than that? It depends on what time I woke up in the morning, what I put on, what I had for breakfast . . .

. . . and sometimes I do wonder how Andrew is.

I need to stop spending money. I bought my flannel lined pants, though, and I'm so excited. I want them to come in TOMORROW! Yippie!

Shit, I need to be productive instead of sitting here bobbing my head to Kings and writing down stupid thoughts.

Jesus.

Megan is getting distracted again.

I saw Townie Crush #1 today and with all that's happened in meeting the guys at Alicci's I'm getting overwhelmed. And I really shouldn't be.

I need to be focusing on art and being creative and finishing projects. It has to get done. It just has to or else I'll be so upset with myself. I know I'm human and we all make mistakes but I really have to stop making excuses for myself.

Rich was an excuse. And the more I hear about who he is, not from him, the more I know I can let go of that excuse. Sex is awesome, no doubt. But it's far to distracting because I am the kind of person that has a hard time not getting or being attached.

Even if 'Jesus' was being more than just friendly, I'm not so sure I should go for it. Not until I'm done with all the things I really want to do, when this school application thing is behind me. That way it will just be bonus. God, I know I'm just flattering myself here thinking this guy has any interest. But keeping my head clear is my number one concern and I know I need to look out for myself, from myself.

Also, I can totally see this 'Taking Woodstock' thing as another distraction. As well as Kings of Leon. I'm such an easy target for myself. Enough bullshit. Really now.

Flowers & Ladybugs

I don't think I've ever spent as much time on album artwork as I have with this one.

The original cover image is from a shopping bag, with tissue paper glued over it. All the print was hand written trying to copy the style of Times New Roman. I just used a pencil and prisma color pencils for that.

Danny Lyon

I'm totally flattered. But I'm kind of sketched out. And as shallow as it is, I kind of don't want Anthony to get the wrong impression.

I refuse to be star-struck. I refuse. He can't use that as bait.

Will someone eat my pie?

'Drew's Camp Song'

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kfGNZk0HfWo

I wish that I could download this video.
And it's weird because moments before I found this video I kind of came to grips with the idea of never hearing it again.

In other news, I saw Rich on the sidewalk today and figured I'd say hello, tell him I'd like to get his stuff out of the back of my car sometime. And when he turned around, the look on his face was one of those 'This is the last person I want to see' face. And it's stupid because I WOULD leave him alone if I could just get his shit out of my car. Then all I'd have to say to him if I ever saw him again would be 'Hey', or maybe nothing at all.

It's not that I'm mad at the guy or that he's mad at me. We're friendly. We joke, laugh. Tell stories. Whatever. But I just get the feeling that he thinks I still expect something of him and I really don't. I really can't expect anything from him. He can 'do' whatever he wants. It's not my problem. I'm slowly learning how to not take it personally. Gosh, though. It just makes me want to leave this town even more.

September should be good. I'm excited for 'Taking Woodstock', even if I just end up freezing my ass off in the middle of a feild. The ladies I met yesterday were pretty cool and I have a feeling that a lot of the rest of the peeps will be as well.


I finished Mick's album art but I'm just too lazy to post it.

As for the world of music. . .

Menomena.

And ooooooooold mix tapes.

Not the right day

Favorites

( In somewhat chronological order )

1. Take Whatever I Can Get . Sara Hickman
2. Fa Fa . Guster
3. Shackled . Vertical Horizon
4. Lover Lay Down . Dave Matthews Band
5. Soon . The Humming
6. Close Your Eyes . Jump Little Children
7. Demons . Guster
8. Two Points for Honesty . Guster
9. Carparts . The Long Winters
10. It'll Be a Breeze . The Long Winters
11. Coolness By Mistake . Sara Hickman
12. Mona Lisa . Guster
13. The Cedar Room . Doves
14. Cannonball . Damien Rice
15. Pounding . Doves
16. Rose Parade . Elliot Smith
17. Coconut Skins . Damien Rice
18. Blizzard of '77 . Nada Surf
19. Fruit Fly . Nada Surf
20. Milk . Kings of Leon
21. House of Cards . Radiohead
22. Detlef Schrempf . Band of Horses
23. Trani (Live In Belgium) . Kings of Leon
24. Arizona . Kings of Leon



No Cover Art. Yet.

3 ('It's hard to take risks')

I have my headphones in and I'm trying to see things through my Holga. Just walking around. I'm not expecting to see him sitting there when I walk around the corner. We stare. Stare. At each other. And I pass. I walk by. I round the corner and have to squat on the pavement to catch my breath. I pull out my headphones and gasp, get up, turn around, and then turn back. When I finally get the courage to round the corner again he's headed my way. Walking right toward me. We stare. Stare. And maybe nod. I curse under my breath. I've just rounded the corner twice and I've not kept my promise to myself. I'm a pansy. I walk to the parking garage in hopes to glimpse him from above. But I get a much better view. I see a bike with a baby blue helmet on the top of the parking garage. I use my last frame of my Holga on it and then debate sitting there until he comes along thinking I'll just casually glance up from my book to ask him, 'How fast does that thing go?' .

I wait. I read. It's windy. I have to leave soon. I get up, frustrated with my lack of courage. I figure I'll do a loop around the block before I head to where I'm supposed to be in a half hour. And there he is. Again. Lit from the side by a slightly sinking sun. I glance this time, I feel, with more purpose and say 'hey' as I pass. He returns it.

I'm ten paces away screaming at myself in my head so loud I almost don't here him ask, 'Hey, what's your name?'
'My name?'
I think that's what I ask.
'Megan. And yours?'

'Rick. Rich. Richard.'

'All of them?' My attempt at being funny.
'Rick.'
He shifts his weight to his feet, since he's sitting, to this interesting lean forward where he outstretches his hand to shake mine. I notice a tattoo on his right arm. I've forgotten now, but it's either right above or below the crease of the elbow.
He sits back down to say, 'I've seen you around a lot. Just thought I'd ask.'
'Yeah. You from the area?' Please say yes.
'Guilford. You?'
'I live in Putney. But I work in town.'
'Oh yeah? Where?'
'Beadniks.' Sigh.
'Well, I didn't mean to interrupt your walk.'
'Naw, don't worry about it. No big plans for today. Spent most of it doing nothing.'
'It's a good day to do nothing.'
'Sure is.' Sure fucking is. 'See you around.'
'Yeah.'

I don't know what else to say.

I should have asked if he rode a motorcycle.

He asked me my name.

Two Gentlemen

Kirsty and I are pulling out of the Hannaford parking lot waiting for the light to change. And as we're sitting there an old Ford truck is going by. The cab is full but I see a familiar face on the passenger side. We make eye contact and follow eachother's gaze the whole time the truck passes the front of my car. We stay that way until we're forced to turn away and there is nothing left to see. And then it hits me like a gust of wind from a fast moving train. That was just Casey Sparrow. What a day.



The mystery man is sitting in Mocha Joe's when I walk in on a break from work. I know I've seen him before, but I never really looked. He's a man's version of Caleb ( if only he could sing like him ) with a beard and long hair. We both can't stop looking at each other while I order my drink and wait for it to be made. But I had to get back to work. And I wouldn't just talk through my eyes all afternoon anyway.

Second time, I'm sitting there writing. He walks down the steps in a leather jacket and a helmet in his hands. Mmm. And it's fucking hot out. I shiver. I'm sitted so there is half a wall blocking my view with a part of it cut out so I can keep glancing at him. He must have caught me five or more times. He was talking to everybody. I wanted to talk to him. Beautiful. He was in jeans. And at one point, the whole back of his body was facing me. A man. I just wish I could see his arms. I would probably melt.

When we went to the bars last night I looked for him everywere. But neither were bars I would picture him in. He's too smokey looking for the pounding hip-hop they were playing at the Weathervane.

All of me wants to see him again. It's like every time we catch the other looking it's a dare to say something. I had this running story going in my head. If he had walked up to my table yesterday, and just said hello, I think I would have flat out told him, 'I think you are the most beautiful person to walk in that door.' And it's not just beauty. He's got my attention. He's mysterious and intrueging. That's everything I want right now. I need it slow. I need it to hit me slowly. I don't want someone all at once. I want to sit with him in a dim lit bar and I want him to tell me about trips he's taken across the country. The crazy women he's been with. The drunk men he's been around. His tattoos. But I want it to last. I want it to last longer than this fucking song. Because it's still playing in my background constantly. Especially thinking of him. Rock. Fucking rock.

Trani (Live In Belgium)

So it's not the Bonnaroo version. But it's just as good.
I've mopped myself into a corner with this song. It is everything I feel right now. And all I want to do is put it on repeat. So nothing else seems to fit. It's like how my left foot seems to be expanding (gross, I know) so that only one pair of shoes feels good at the moment.

I also should stop listening to it because his voice just does something weird to me. Of course the music makes me want to rock my head and shoulder uncontrolably and force my knees to buckle or jerk. But that voice is almost daring me to do things I wouldn't dream of doing sober.

As I said before, it's like someone running their tongue over your lips. It's too fucking hot.

I want to swear that this will be the last time that I listen to it. But I can't. I'm addicted. This song has become my way of life at the moment and I'm holding on to with with everything I have.

Boston 1.

Hot Nights

( Best when served Shuffled )

Happiness Is A Warm Gun . The Beatles
Camaro . Kings Of Leon
Narc . Interpol
My Party . Kings Of Leon
Pretty Babies . Dishwalla
Hear You Me . Jimmy Eat World
Camouflage . Third Eye Blind
The Red Summer Sun . Third Eye Blind
Hit the Plane Down . Pavement
Dedroom Dancing . Day 1
Publish My Love . Rogue Wave
The Party Song . Blink 182
Tell Her Tonight . Franz Ferdinand
Midnight Show . The Killers
Bodysnatchers . Radiohead
Carry The Zero . Built To Spill
Circles . Incubus
You Got Me . VHS Or Beta
Bliss . Moby
Natural Blues . Moby
If Things Were Perfect . Moby
Doin' Time . Sublime
Untitled . Interpol
Blankest Year . Nada Surf
Red Morning Light . Kings Of Leon
Talk To Me . Stevie Nicks

Summer Days

( best if shuffled )

Bubble Toes . Jack Johnson
Razor . Foo Fighters
Sofa Song . The Kooks
New Girl . Third Eye Blind
In The Mirror . Nada Surf
New Born . Muse
Catform . Rogue Wave
Tattoo of the Sun . Third Eye Blind
Island One the Coast . Band of Horses
Stacked Actors . Foo Fighters
The Execution of All Things . Rilo Kiley
Where Have All The Rude Boys Gone . Ted Leo and The Pharmacists
Swing, swing . The All-American Rejects
Muscle'n Flo . Menomena
Fans . Kings of Leon
Situations . Jack Johnson
Faster . Third Eye Blind
Charmer . Kings of Leon
Genius . Kings of Leon
Gold . Stevie Nicks and ? ( off of Enchanted )
Castles Made Of Sand . Jimi Hendrix
My Iron Lung . Radiohead
Weightless . Nada Surf
Twin Cinema . The New Pornographers
Doing Nothing . Of Montreal
Velvet Snow . Kings of Leon
My Rights Versus Yours . The New Pornographers
Soft . Kings of Leon
Truckers Atlas . Modest Mouse
New World . Leroy
Narcolespy . Third Eye Blind
I see The Sun . Tommy Henriksen
Use It . The New Pornographers
Gold Soundz . Pavements
Here Goes Something . Nada Surf
The Way You Wear Your Head . Nada Surf

I am beyond effort at this point.

3,000 miles

I have a bruise on my leg that you will never see.

?

This is like a very very bad dream that you can't wake up from.

Are they really discontinuing polaroid film?

Am I dead?

This can't truly be happening just as I'm reaching the begining of a project using the bloody film. Oh life will never be the same. I want to go and cry now. I have a headache.

In the works

Just so it's known, I'm working on a playlist/mix cd at the moment. Hopefully it will turn out as good as I want it to.

Also, I want to make a note of two amazing albums I've been enjoying lately:

#1 - Descended Like Vultures by Rogue Wave


They kind of remind me of Nada Surf/Elliot Smith/The Decemberists.


#2 - Because Of The Times - Kings of Leon


Still Kings of Leon, but with a hint of Doves/Radiohead/U2.

Enjoy!

.

I can't do it.

Empty Stomach

I have a whole entire ten dollar meal that I took two sips and on bite out of sitting in my fridge. Gotta love the last minute meet-ups.

Tea.


I have no words for how easy this was for me. The next step is the challenge. Isn't that the truth in everything?

As for that playlist . . . you should all just listen to In Rainbows, the new Radiohead album. That's a perfect arrangement. There isn't anything I could or would do to it. Enjoy.

'take care, and untill soon, Juanjo'

Let's just say that I got an e-mail back. Let's just say he hinted at being able to see me. Let's just say that I was okay with that. Let's just say that I'm doing something I've only done once before; putting myself out there.


Cute, cute face.




P.s. I promise there's a playlist coming soon. I don't want this to become some cheesy romance blog like some average livejournal or something (Like anyone is reading this. However, it gives me peace of mind if I mention it).

"We're trying to smoke here",

is what my mom said when she handed the phone to me. Of course Alyssa heard. And she wanted in.

This is sounding like the begining of a bad movie. And downstairs I hear my Dad is still watching 'The Science of Sleep'.

The reason I wanted to type was because I made my third attempt to make contact and this time I think it went through. It's too early to have such high hopes though. I should know that by now.

I don't want to be the girl I used to be. I don't want to be mean. Is this mean? Should I feel guilty? I try to convince myself that I shouldn't. But I still do. Like I said to Joe, I don't want it to be another ten years until we talk to each other.

God. Now that I think about it, I'm waiting to hear from three guys and the only person who has responded to me is the first girl I ever had a crush on.

A Reason For Red

Sally had said that I'd meet a lot of guys since I was working in retail. I tried to stress the fact that it's a 'bead store', attracting mostly middle-age women, with rich husbands, that are bored and need a hobby.


I have now been working there for a little over a year and there have only been two times where a really interesting guy has walked in. I would say that's not too bad considering the common clientele.


Most Recent:
close to 3:00 pm, March 3rd 2008
Asked about 'Native Beads', or at least I think he asked about beads. The way he said the word 'native', though, sounded like it belonged to a woman's anatomy. He spoke very fast, which apparently is common in Chilean Spanish. Did I mention he's from Chile? That comes later.
I guess I should say that when I saw him walk in I knew I had seen him in the store before, but no other memory came to mind. He was wearing a hat. But it looked like he either had a mohawk or a mullet from the looks of it. I caught a glimpse of his Mount Snow ski pass or instructor pass or whatever pass and apparently when he became employed there he had a shaved head.

Such a thin, gentle face to go with a long lean body. Backpack. Bright blue jacket. I don't remember much else. Except that he bought paper lantern string lights that had little dragon flies on them.

I'd also like to point out that today was a day that I decided I wouldn't wear a bra. I didn't put on any make-up, which I've been doing a lot lately. And my hair was nothing spectacular. I guess girls only expect to be noticed when they are having a {perfect} moment.

The talk was back and forth. I mentioned that he should probably come in on a day that Brian works so he could ask him a few more questions regarding any native beads and such. I gave him our business card, he gave me his e-mail.

I'm issuing myself the "Three Day Agreement", as I guess I should call it.

Juanjo.

'I'll give you and e-mail.'

Wink.

The History Books Forgot About Us

No Cover Art

Track List:

Shayna:
1. So Far Away . Nine Days
2. New Day . Kate Havnevik

Alyssa:
3. No More I Love You's . Annie Lennox
4. Samson . Regina Spektor

Joe:
5. A Man/Me/Then Jim . Rilo Kiley
6. Hallelujah . Rufus Wainwright

Mick:
7. Rose Parade . Elliot Smith
8. Grace Cathedral Hill . The Decemberists

Andrew:
9. Bleed To Love Her . Fleetwood Mac
10. Let's Dance . M. Ward

Sally:
11. Motorcycle Drive By . Third Eye Blind
12. Coconut Skins . Damien Rice

Mix Made In Heaven

Cover Art: A book turned into a box. I think the book was called "Giants in the Earth' or something like that. It was green. On the inside I put the postcards. One of a woman in a white dress standing in front of a table that had a full martini glass of wine in perfect line with her hips, giving the illusion that she was naked. The second was this.




At the bottom of the box was my self portrait.



Track List:
1. Wonderwall . Oasis
2. She's A Superstar . The Verve
3. Crazy Life . Toad The Wet Sprocket
4. Daysleeper . R.E.M.
5. Dead Melodies . Beck
6. Peer Pressure . Jon Brion
7. Strings That Tie To You . Jon Brion
8. It'll Be A Breeze . The Long Winters
9. Such Great Heights . Iron and Wine
10. Phone Call . Jon Brion
11. I Wonder . The Willowz
12. Honey And The Moon . Joseph Arthur
13. Fair . Remy Zero
14. Morning Song For Sally . Nanci Griffith
15. Nightswimming . R.E.M.
16. Everybody's Gotta Learn Sometime . Beck
17. M62 Song . Doves
18. New Slang . The Shins

Three days away from the biggest 'couples' day of the year was our biggest day of the year.

It was a bad idea to go out in the snow . . .

But then again, maybe not.

Melt My Face

By Drew Jacobson-Mohr

1. Cissy Strut . Meters

2. Bold As Love . The Jimi Hendrix Experience

3. Let's Get Known . The Unicorns

4. Trani . Kings of Leon

5. When The Sung Goes Down . Arctic Monkeys

6. Evil Will Prevail . The Flamming Lips

7. Time Trap . Built To Spill

8. Twin Falls . Built To Spill

9. Some . Built To Spill

10. The Abandoned Hospital Ship . The Flamming Lips

11. No Other One . Weezer

12. Joker And The Thief . Wolfmother

13. Silence Kit . Pavement

14. Tangled Up In Plaid . Queens Of The Stoneage

15. El Scorcho . Weezer

16. She Said, She Said . The Black Keys

17. We're Going To Be Friends . The White Stripes

18. Inoculate the Innocuous . The Unicorns

19. The Pelican . Menomena